My Twin is Finally At'thaara.

I have written thousand words for you, every time a new memory, a new reason to be thankful for having you in my life. Sadaf, to all those good times and your importance in my life these are 

50+1 Things I love about YOU.

1.      A beautiful creature, inside and out.

2.      We have the same story, and we know how to be proud about it.

3.      You know how to face challenges. I learnt this from you.

4.       Prettiest smile.

5.       You are my cousin from two relations.

6.       I remember the night I cried in California, just for you. I was mad; I don’t ever want you to keep secrets from me. But, now, I understand your part of deal. I still Love you.

7.       Surrounded by a big brother all the time, you gave me the sisterly affection. Thanks for spoiling my ass.

8.       We can fool anyone by switching names; Twin or Nah?

9.       You talk a lot and I listen nothing, I hate when you do the same. But,  you actually listen and give the best suggestions ever.

10.   You know all my YES friends, but you always confuse them together. I love how you always are, ‘oh so Khattak and Janjuiee are two different people’ or ‘I gotta skype your friends’ or ‘Mahrosh, Peshawar wale?’  I don’t blame you, I talk to fast.

11.    Remember when we were younger, and I used to cry about, Fareeha, Hira, and you teaming up against me; I still never hated you and told people that you are my best cousin.

12.   When you joined my school, teachers used to hate me, thinking I am Sadaf 2.0. They were not wrong.

13.   All our inside jokes/talks, those others will never understand.

14.   Speaking ‘F’ language, because people understand Sign Language, nowadays. It’s very important to judge every one, whenever we are together. :D

15.   You missed school, the day I was leaving for America. You are very much WELCOME.

16.   All those plans to walk every day, eat less, and do ZUMBA.

17.   We NEVER followed any of those plans.

18.   Now that I have gained more weight, Thanks for sharing all your clothes.

19.   Dang, how can I forget the night stays? My only source for…. (You Know What)

20.   You can COOOOOOK! Man, I will marry food, one day.

21.   Annoying you by using my phones and sharing inside YES jokes, which you will never understand.

22.   You still manage to laugh, after telling me not to talk about YES anymore. I love you for that.

23.   It is beautiful outside and I chose to write about YOU.

24.   26th of July: I will have my kid that day… Just saying.

25.    I can share my good days/bad days with you, just to remind, how blessed I am.

26.   I still love your clothes/tshirts over mine. Got my eyes on them <3

27.   When things are not fair, you are the only one I can complain to. Not that, you make everything better; such a loser.

28.   We trust each other, blindfold. I know you will tell me when things are not working out; I do the same.

29.   People need to know, you are TWO years older than me, apparently deserved to be called, Sadaf Apa.

30.   I am writing all this for you.

31.   We share all our friends, or they just become mutual. God, dang, they love us both.

32.   It’s not people think you look younger. We both look 21. Period.

33.   I envy how I can’t look gorgeous without glasses, while you manage to look the best, both ways.

34.   All those times, I tell you, I think that guy is HOT, and you are like, ‘you can easily get him’.

35.   Haw, boosting my confidence since 1998.

36.   We are never wrong. Thanks for seeing the other side of stories, where I am always right.

37.   You are going to University next year, to be my personal nurse. How can I not love you for that?

38.   It is hard for you to read a book with full attention. TFioS was another case. Mutual interests.

39.   You are probably, not wanting to read the rest of the list. Figuring it too much reading and bore.

40.   When I die…

41.   You still go ahead and read it, because you love ME, more than I do myself.

42.    You are going to be my maid of honor. I will be your kid’s nanny.

43.   I die; you will be the strongest one among the crowd.

44.   Remember Dakku Daddy? We gotta love our brothers.

45.   You stalk me. At least once every day. Thank you, I need some stalkers in my life.

46.   I will fight with the world for you, and still be a pain in your ass.

47.   WE NEED TO PARTY. WE NEED TO MEETUP. WE NEED TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER. YOU NEED TO COOK FOR ME. THEN WE WILL ZUMBA. YOU WILL STILL EAT LESS. WHILE I WILL EAT THE REST OF YOUR FOOD.

48.   I can curse you out, slap you on your face and be the typical me. WHILE YOU STAY NICE. I wish.

49.   Thanks for giving me a shoulder to cry on, hugs that I always need, and talks that works like medicine.

50.   Last statement was indeed, much of a buttering, telling you I deserve a big TREAT. Okay?

+

51.   Life is fair. I got you in it.

 

I LOVE YOU, SADAF NOTTA.

 

 

 

ALL THE WAY TO USA <3

 

‘And here I am, standing at the airport, few hours left to ride on the plane which will lead to my destiny, my dream land.’ August 26^th ’2013.

Have you ever experienced that one feel you have when there are only few hours left in chasing something that you have been dreaming about, for so long? If not, let me tell you how it feels. You feel like a creature having your head up, looking at the destination point. The feel of pain because of the whole bunch of goodbyes you said. The whole bunch of excitement, enthusiasm, curiosity and no patience. You dream yourself few hours ahead, making up your mind, thinking how you are going to feel while you get there and achieve one of your goals of life.

I arrived in USA on August 27^th’ 2013. Our first destination was Washington DC, the country’s capital. As we reached the airport, there was bunch of immigration process until we finally got our luggage and as we came out of the arrival gate, we were surrounded by The YES alumni cheering out loud, boosting our hopes up and trust me, all the jet-legged feel ran away. We met students from Yemen, Mali and few more countries, over there. It was amazing. Coming to America, you are not going to make friends living in America but you get to meet people belonging to different parts of the world.

 

On our way to the Building that we were supposed to stay, I got to see the beauty that DC had. All the big trees, huge buildings and people belonging to different races. Indeed, America is one of the most diversified lands.

 

As soon as we reached there, the only frustrating part was to take care of our luggage. Trust me, packing was not that much tough as much carrying the luggage was.

Every room had almost four students. Two of my roommates were Bosnians (Ilma and Adna) and one was from Pakistan (Kisa). It was so fun, being in the room, sharing our experiences, acting as if we know each other for so long and above all having the best time together. I still remember how tough it was to say goodbye to each other. I hope to see them soon.

 
We had different teams based on different colors. I was in the blue team. Every team had almost students from all the different countries present in DC at that time for the orientation. It was the best way to learn about different cultures, know different ideas and above all have the craziest time with everyone.

Well, Three days stay in the beautiful city, we all were really enthusiastic and were looking forward for all the upcoming sessions and outings. The very first day we got an opportunity to visit a museum and also go to Martin Luther’s memorial on the 50^th Anniversary of Martin Luther’s, I HAVE A DREAM speech. We visited THE WHITE HOUSE too, when the president was inside the residence. The best part of visiting THE WHITE HOUSE was holding up the flag of Pakistan high. It was a moment to connect the east and the west, which is one of the reason why we are here                                                    

 
I still remember how talking in our native language used to confuse each other and at that point English was a tool to get connected. We still taught URDU to bunch of YES students belonging to different countries. It was so amazing. I learned Macedonian and Arabic too. It was more like an exchange between us. We all were completely different and new to each other, but the bonding of being a HUMAN brought up somewhat similarities between us. We were beyond race, color, and creed and accepted each others as a part of one big family.


I visited two museums in Washington DC and trust me, Americans know how to preserve their valuable things and how to present it well, this is what I perceived so far. It was amazing as I actually felt like I am there at that time, living those little tiny moments, all because of every single details.


Cultural night was one of the most amazing experiences I ever had. For once I was between performances of particular cultures. Hooting a loud, joining my voice in theirs, I had the time of my life. I dressed up as a Punjabi girl with heavy jewels, to show them the colors our culture has by my dress. The whole world was in one room, showing the love, the bonding, ignoring the differences and connecting the globe together. I still remember those smiles and the respect everyone gave to each other’s culture. It gives us a message of brotherhood and staying connected.

The American council’s workers and all the YES alumni made these three days THE BEST for us. We felt so honored to be with them and happy to be a part of the YES family. They helped us getting through all the queries and gave us an amazing platform to be friends with different students belonging to different parts. I still feel honored to meet Cindy, as she is one of those who helped me keeping my hopes high and look forward to all the tough moments with a big smile. Our blue team leaders and every other leader, I guess their hard work made everyone’s three days stay in Washington DC, the best.

We shared gifts with each other and one of our mates also applied henna on other countries' students hand. I was honored to received cultural gifts from my friends belonging to Mali and Yemen. It is very valuable to me, as it strengthen the bond of my culture with theirs.

It was sad, shattering and out of my mind to believe that we are actually going to get separate, this is not a round-trip-fun-thing, it’s a real one year life, miles away from my house and we will have new people around. Nothing but NEW. Not better but DIFFERENT.


On Friday, my tears couldn't get a hold. Hugging each other, giving good luck wishes, it was time to hold on to the amazing memories until we meet again.


I had connecting flights. From DC to Chicago and then to my final destination. My new house, my new land and my new life.

 

People say 'you don't live a year but you actually LIVE in that year.'

Keeping aside the emotions, I came out of the plane with Nabeel (another Exchange student going to my city) excited, confused, in hope to meet my family soon.

My excitement didn't fail, except it was worth it. I remember how seeing their faces made me happy, a relief in my heart that I am between my people, a smile on my face that everything is going to get beautiful now, I am going to live my life in this one year and that made me run, hug my host mom tight.

The exciting one year has begun. I have achieved my dream but it has brought in many other goals. It is going to be a fun, challenging and A YEAR TO BE MADE, not break.

GOODBYES.

The word which was mostly rare, or I could say, ‘mostly meaningless’ for me. More like a one day mark to my friends; promising to meet up again tomorrow- is it the same now? Indeed questionable. I have spent fifteen beautiful years with my loved ones. Living with them and adding up new members in my life. Subtracting someone was equals to NIL.  This year, 2013 is different, very different. I keep on weeping, writing this down. First said goodbye to my school, to my mates with whom 10years just passed away, without knowing the pain and the fact that, life is impossible without them. Goodbye to the wonderful PDO and to the nationwide friends it gave to me. A very lot goodbye coming up soon, leaving me speechless and ‘down’. One said ‘A lot of goodbyes bring forward a lot of hellos’. A lot of promises to keep in touch; this gives meaning to this word. It now stand the first in my mind’s dictionary, it does.

Owning It All.

I own myself, my thoughts, and my words. We all do? I doubt. I am the one who realized it already, most of us don’t ‘think about it’. We all have paradigms, our obsession, and our centers- around which we revolve. Cases are many, realization is less. I got to know about my center while reading ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers- Sean Covey’- Perspective centered, I was. What will others thing about me? How ugly would I look wearing this? And stuff. Think about your obsession? Rather be your boyfriend, parents or whosoever. Think how much obsession you have for something/somebody, helps you in your real life. To be honest, it breaks you into pieces. Go for a one minute silence and think who does own your life?  If you are not the driver then remember being a conductor only has no value. If you are God centered, remember he is the one who instruct you how to drive. Blaming him for all your foolish acts; don’t play with your sentiments please.

Be what you are, think what you can become?

Be the driver of hard work on the road of your success

BE THOUGHTS CENTERED

OWN YOURSELF COMPLETELY, BECAUSE

YOU CAN DO IT